Saturday, January 14, 2012

遇见。旧爱

一个星期里,遇见了两个他:一个是初恋男友,一个是第一个喜欢的男生。

星期日那天,就在皇后湾广场遇见初恋男友。算一算,从分手那天彼此不再碰面。不知是真的缘分尽了,还是老天爷眷顾我,不让我在状态不及他好时碰面。六年后的今天,在他身边的已经不是当初那个第三者。这次巧合的相遇,让我发现原来我和他之前,已经没有什么记忆了……蒙蒙的画面里,只记得他的背叛及谎言。

然而这一天,很巧的遇见了我从六年级就喜欢到高中一的那个男生。认识他,应该有十二年了,喜欢他也有四年,或许因为这样,所以回忆特别深刻。再次见到他,心中不禁起了涟漪;脑海里不停地播放着往事的记忆:
原来,我曾经很疯狂的购买《偶像》杂志。而每买一本,他就会向我借一本。那时他在追着《我和僵尸有个约会》连续剧。
那时候的我,最迷《无印良品》,也叫《光良品冠》。一封歌迷写给偶像的信,夹在《偶像》杂志里头,被他发现到了。
一个星期会有那么一两天,他会出现在我家出席小组补习班。当时在房间睡午觉的我,会从房间的窗口偷偷望出去看他。
他毕业了,好一阵子没看见他,我想我们或许不会再见了吧。直到有一天,我拿到他家地址,敲了封信给他。然后,我们保持联络了好长一段时间。
那时,他是我唯一倾诉心事的对象。对爸爸怨恨很深的我,渐渐被他开导了,“树欲静而风不止,子欲养而亲不在”这一句,是他教我的。他的好,我写成了一篇短文章,投稿到《少年》杂志主题“一个影响我最深的人”。意外的,我得奖了。
脾气暴躁任性的我,也因为他的话而得以改善。还记得他会给我的每封信都有好些做人的道理,甚至如何管理脾气的。每一个道理,都被我重新抄在一张纸上,然后放成文件夹的封面。那时的我,把他写的每则道理都背得滚瓜烂熟。
通信一段时间后,再次见面,是因为他要带我参加佛堂的节目。第一次乘坐他驾的车,还记得是Kelisa,车里的香薰很香,是Ambipur的Vanila味道。这个味道,我爱到至今。

太多太多的记忆,原以为忘了,原来只是被深埋在记忆库里,久久挥之不去。当时的信件,我很后悔全都还给了他。如今剩下的,应该只有一张他送给我的生日卡片吧!

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